February 27, 2010, Saturday morning 7:45 am. My cell phone is buzzing from a recent message. In white colored font with dark blue background, it reads…Kipp, tsunami warning. turn on the news.
It takes a while for both eyes to open in the a.m. One eye slowly opens and the other plays catch up for the next five minutes. This day was the complete opposite. Jolting out of bed, I quickly turned the tv on to unknowingly begin, the waste of a picture perfect day in Hawaii. In other words, I could have gone surfing.
Like everyone else, I began to do what everybody does when they hear news of an impending tsunami. Call the ‘ohana. Actually, it was log into facebook first. I had to verify this nonsense on our local media. Because if you read it in the facebook newsfeed, then it’s real.
Now verified, most of us are now in a heightened sense of alertness. It’s like a rush of adrenaline pumping through your body. Larry and Price never sounded so serious. Justin Fujiokas words were godly and ten commandments-ish. Pamela Young never looked so….young. Yet, there were other inhabitants that surpassed this level of hysteria and were in a whole different ballgame. These people…went to fill gas. Go shopping at safeway and longs. Or go so high up mauka, they would make you believe a Deep Impact wave is about to hit. You know, the movie with Morgan Freeman and that damn Hobbit. Good movie. But not real.
11:04am. The time Mr. Tsunami arrives in Oahu. Supposedly. All eyes were on Hilo. Ears too. I watched and listened to Kirk Matthews interview Bj Penn as they fed live video from his website. Why? Because this is the best our local media could do at the moment. Seriously. Bjs an awesome fighter, but tsunami expert? No. They could have put a live shot of some reporter interviewing a tsunami expert at Hilo bay. Better yet, a camera on top one of the Hotels near Hilo Bay. I remember at the end of each news broadcast they would say….and transmitting atop the Naniloa Hotel overlooking Hilo Bay. Why don’t they have a fucking camera to transmit with that transmitter?
Well, should’ve could’ve would’ve. All they had was shabby quality skype video. Kirk Matthews described to the viewers, that skype is an internet phone. That’s what happens when you put the words, internet and phone, together. Skype. New age shit for people like my dad, who describes the motorola cell phone as “blueberry”.
11:04am. Came. Went. Hungry. Good thing I went fill gas so I could drive around the island and grab food 48 miles away. Yes, I’m mocking the gas tank fillers. I’m sitting in the middle of my living room. Tv/facebook in front. Radio and view to the ocean on my right. My longboard resting behind me, saying shit like, “you’re a dumbass, you could be catching this off season south swell. But no, you have be like everybody else and jump on the horseshit media blitz bandwagon. You rather fill this desire to be “connected” and read updates of how brown the water is turning in hilo bay. Wax me up. Lets go fool.”
Lessened learned. In a state of panic, inanimate objects begin to speak to you.
Pamela Young says, “just stay tuned…we’re not out of the woods yet. It may be an hour or more until we see any affect.” An hour or more?! Dude, I fricken bought the ticket for the 11:04am showing. If the movie is a no go, then i want a refund. Why you say 11:04am in the first place Pammy? Next time, be like Oceanic Cable and say, we’ll have a technician come to your home between 8am and 5pm. I fucking hate them.
In all seriousness, a tsunami is no laughing matter. Hilo bayfront knows this. The state knows this. That’s why our governor says things like, we’ve definitely dodged a bullet. My ass, dodged a bullet. Lets thank our local media for fertilizing and injecting steroids into the bullet itself. Think of when you were a kid and you and all your friends would go to the pool. Everybody, had that fatty friend in the group where after he/she would jump into the pool, the crowd would all simultaneously yell, TSUNAMI!! Yup, thats what happened on the morning of February 27, 2010. With civil defense sirens, skype lessons, and an interview with a mixed martial arts fighter. I still want my refund.