It is a dark time for the rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel…whoops, sorry wrong sequel.
Hershel and I meet up again to discuss current events, video games and his views on domestic violence.
Ten more thoughts for Hershel:
- I just came back from a vacation in the Galapagos. There’s people like me but on land. Walking turtles. Fucking crazy. I bet somewhere there are hairless apes that walk upright.
- That fact where you can face a turtle hatchling away but will always make their way towards the water. Yeah, that’s bullshit. One of my juniors ended up in in South Dakota. I got Hershel juniors everywhere, but how one ends up in a land locked state is fucking beyond me.
- Super Mario Bros. owes me royalties.
- Did you know the Blue Whale has the largest penis of any animal with an average size of 8 feet? If you think I’m an asshole, you should know that there’s bigger dicks than me out there.
- Did you know the Blue Whale has the largest penis of any animal with an average size of 8 feet? If Mrs. Whale doesn’t put out, Mr. Whale is gonna have the biggest blue balls of any animal too.
- Did you know the Blue Whale has the largest penis of any animal with an average size of 8 feet? And the animal with the largest vagina is Chris Brown.
- Im out of whale punchlines.
- When I was in hatchling school, I was voted most likely to succeed. What a bunch of idiots.
- Do you remember when Myspace was cool? So do I. So, do I.
- I brought you a gift. It’s a box full of fuck off.
read Hershels first post, 10 Thoughts From A Dehydrating Turtle