Cravings come in all shapes and colors. For some, it’s as simple as something edible. For others, it could be mind altering, detrimental even, such as caffeine, nicotine, crack cocaine or Justin Bieber.
The former was mine and it was screaming vanilla shake. Not just any vanilla shake. A Jack in the Box vanilla shake. The true test of a shake is how much shake you can get in your mouth on the first sip of the straw. If you can get a cheek full of liquid, then it’s simply a cold drink. With a Jack in the Box shake, the first sip you’ll get, for all intents and purposes, is jack. Continue reading The Not Vanilla Shake
I’ll write my first post of this year, reminding myself of the trials and tribulations of dating. Yippie…
Rollback the year to 2008. America is on the cusp of electing our first black President, Katy Perry is kissing a girl, Heath Ledger does a remarkable Joker impersonation and Kipp goes on a date with a girl ten years younger.
Ironically I met this girl on Facebook, where I typically fend off would be followers. Daycee, a 20 year old single mother with a pretty profile picture, is the harbinger of intolerance. More about that later. She suggests a time and place to meet and I easily comply, being the intelligent gentlemen I is. Continue reading Check Please
An accidental discovery wound up consuming an entire day. Well, not the entire day because I advanced a few levels in Candy Crush, but most of it anyways. First of all, I can’t draw for shit. Shapes, no problem. Unless it’s a decagon, because it has just as much sides as my ex-girlfriend. Second, I think thought bubbles are genius. It’s like saying something, but not really.
I’d like to reiterate how much I love-hate Facebook. If you’re a newcomer to my blog, this will bring you up to speed. The best compliment I can give Facebook is that it’s the best emotional refuse to date. That I hate. What I love is when you’re having a bad day, week, year, life, you can count on your News Feed to deliver one poor sap that’s having a (supposedly) worse time than you are, then capitalize with satirical mockery. Enter Bitstrips. Continue reading 11 Ways to use Bitstrips
In the world of Social Media, there’s nothing more important than how you present yourself to your online networks. Here are some of my tips to keep and grow a healthy network on Facebook.
1. Consistently Post Selfies
Show how much you love your Friends by having 98% of your photos be of yourself taken by yourself. Whether it be fed from your Instagram account or a Tweet, your Facebook Friends will happily reward your narcissistic behaviour. The other 2% can be of food.
2. Be Super at being Superficial
The next time you see someones selfie, leave them with a comment. One word will suffice. “Cute”, “Sexy” or “Hot” will do. When you pretend care about your network, your network will pretend care about you. Not only do you cultivate your Friends with pretend care, deep down you know your shit is better than theirs. Continue reading How to Maintain and Find New Friends on Facebook