Category Archives: Music, Technology

White Noise

Photo Credit: SoundcloudI’ve been downloading mashups from Soundcloud for years now. Covering the majority of genres of popular music and songs, it is unequivocally my favorite form of discovering new tunes. Consider the arresting vocals of John Lennon layered with the rugged riffs from Rage Against The Machine. Or Reggae inspired covers of Tupac with Disco paced bass lines. With an extensive amount of professional and amateur Djs, they’ve offered me the ability to fall in love with the songs I’ve always admired all over again.

Beyond the surface of the audible intent, the creativity and expression of it’s proclaimed mixers is to be marveled. When the earbuds are plugged in and the Playlist set to SoundCloud, a one block walk for groceries Continue reading White Noise

The Times They Are a-Changin’

A conversation with a friend, lead to tears of laughter. I’ll tell you why. Facebook chat was on the fritz with this friends computer. Or so I thought. Through back on forth wall posts and comments, doing my best to help, it was discovered the culprit was not Facebook or the computer. It was the computer illiterate female user. I added “female” in hopes of a more empathetic understanding but bigotry is one of my little side talents.

In the midst of social media, where wall posts, IMs, Tweets, texts, sexts and Words With Friends are the norm for communication, I decides to “call” her. I know, weird.  Who the hell makes calls? One step closer to the big crescendo. I walk her through, finding the “Go Online” link. She finds it. All is good.

Crack open a brewsky and fire up the hibachi, Houston we have lift off. She’s ecstatic, and sending many thank yous my way. I gracefully send my sarcasm, carefully wrapped with a honi honi (kiss kiss), and conclude the phone call saying, Good it’s working, I’m going to hang up the phone and jump on Facebook Chat.
Tears of laughter.
Today, I communicated with at least 15 different people from the cushions of my home. None of them were on the phone. Okay…one of them was my mom. The times are changing, leaving Alexander Graham Bell, to turn in his grave. This is the world we live in today. Drowning in technology, swimming against pixel-ized acronyms. omg. lol. wtf. hijklmonp. Facebooking at opposite ends of the couch. Or the bar. Or in bed, lying side by side and giggling as if you tied someones shoelaces together.

Humor me. Leave a comment here, or share this on FB and Twitter. If you’re 29 going on 13, slap it on your Myspace. Whatever you do, don’t call me on my phone. That would be utterly ridiculous.

What The Apps

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Yup, it’s that time again to rip on Facebook. Facebook users that is. Observe, participate, analyze. That is the crazy repetitive cycle in this noggin of mine. I’ve already done the analytical cycle with Farmville, Petville and Daily Horoscope. Choke fun. Choke defriendings. In a nutshell, plow your own damn fields, clean up your own dog shit, and I’m not a Libra so why do I care that you’re having a superb day.

Lets add Status Shuffle to that list. Because life is hard and too difficult to express in your own words. Praise the makers of an application that writes everything out for you. Praise the commenters and likers. For they truly appreciate unoriginal writings. A standing ovation, to those who use automated vocabulary. Your artificial cleverness and wit does not go unnoticed. Congratulations to those who receive kudos for something they copy. Your 4th grade intelligence impresses the shit out me.

Now, go find an app that helps deal with this sarcasm overload. via Status Shuffle.

Virtually Addicted

ipad1Have you every noticed how fast technology is advancing? It may be faster than Clark Kent trying to find the shitter. With the recent launch of Apples iPad, I felt compelled to spit out more comical bullshit through the topic of tech.

During my final years of High School, we juveniles were strapped on digital devices. On top of that, the ones we had at the time were pieces of shit, compared to today’s standards. If you remember paging 07734 or 23778008 and turning it upside down or lugging the ten pound green screen gameboy with the overheating battery pack attached to your hip, then you can relate.

In the subject of music, we were on the cusp of the CD media transition. Which meant half of your audio library was cassette and the other, CDs. And forget the portable cd player. Any bump, jolt or whatever synonym to “hit” you want to use, would send you to the beginning of a track. Which made it more stationary than portable. You know there’s only so many repeats of Funky Y2C or Whoomp There It Is, you can take before the twitching begins. (YouTube it both, it’s there).

Before I overly dwell in nostalgia bliss, the road of technology seems smoothly paved and my eyes are transfixed on the upcoming bends. I think just being able to carry around a cell phone is just the coolest shit ever. Sure, mobile phones were around decades ago but many of us did not shell out a G for something the size of your arm.

Look at where we are today. iPhone wise. Check e-mail, mock people on fB, play words with friends, mock more people on fB, check surf-report (Skull Candy, great app btw), reply to IMs, reply to people on fB who don’t like the mocking….well, infinite list obviously. Even typing this note. Oh, and making a call once in a while. Top it off with the big daddy iPad and the godly Steve Jobs gives us a great glimpse into what is possible.

3D flat screens are already hitting the market. Like the cassette/CD transition, familiarity with new technology is often rough and possibly embarrassing. Imagine obliviously walking out of the house still wearing the 3D glasses. Or getting up to answer the door, in the middle of Avatar, with the huge red and blue focals masking half your face. Yup, im calling it. But possible akward situations, can’t top three dimensional titties flying at your face (My Bloody Valentine 3D). Best movie ever. Nah, not really. More like, Im not that into half naked blue Na’vi.

Mobile three dimensional touch screen Facebooking. With occasional titty. Sign me up.