The Not Vanilla Shake

Cravings come in all shapes and colors.  For some, it’s as simple as something edible.  For others, it could be mind altering, detrimental even, such as caffeine, nicotine, crack cocaine or Justin Bieber.

The former was mine and it was screaming vanilla shake.  Not just any vanilla shake.  A Jack in the Box vanilla shake.  The true test of a shake is how much shake you can get in your mouth on the first sip of the straw.  If you can get a cheek full of liquid, then it’s simply a cold drink. With a Jack in the Box shake, the first sip you’ll get, for all intents and purposes, is  jack.   

Riding With Peppers, The Video

Water.  A crucial substance, necessary for the sustenance of life.  We inhabit the water world and today, I pay homage to those before me, who used water not only to ensure survival but also as a form of enjoyment, creating worlds within worlds.  More specifically, from the ancient Polynesian culture and what the Hawaiian’s refer to as he’e nalu.  Although I am much appreciative of their gift of the sport, I would also like to apologize to any fish I may had run over.   

Leaving Reality and Three Stories You Should Listen To

Like a bandit in the old west, my earbuds are my trusty six shooter and it’s holster, my mp3 player.  When it’s fully loaded with an ammunition of songs, I am ready to take on any varmint at High Noon.  Although I am unwilling to share my cover of Wanted Dead or Alive, I will be candid with my taste in music.  You will find that I commonly park my hoss at the Hard Rock saloon, in between Pop Rock Barber Shop and the Bank of Alternative.   My usual orders are awesome riffs and solos like More Than A Feeling by Boston or hypnotic vocals from any song sung by Freddie Mercury.  If the bartend ain’t serving any joy juice, my earbuds double as buffer, eliminating pesky advances from bar prostitutes.  Sometimes you just need a time-out from reality.

The following are three personal short stories representing an attachment with music, using songs as a supplement and a guide.  Playing them is not necessary, but it adds another dimension to the story.  In any case, they’re kick ass songs.   

Tickled Pink

I blog for many reasons but for the most part, blogging is simply letting my mind exhale. Some people have been blessed to have, I’d like to call, unfortunate opportunities encountering my cerebral narcissism. Am I like that in real life? Why yes I am, says the man in the mirror.

For the past week I’ve been on a mission. A mission to keep abreast of the month of October. The puns explanation begins with how all ideas start. A new haircut. The loss of my locks lead to a purple fauxhawk. Hawaii’s saltwater playground lead to the loss of the purple in three days yet a healthy gain of Vitamin D. What color should I do next? Pink, says the man in the mirror.   

10 Thoughts From A Dehydrating Turtle

Sometimes, I visit basking turtles and start up a conversation.  Unlike the babes on the beach, they can’t just up and walk away.  Plus, most Betties start to (pretend) text when the lost of interest sets in.  A tactic I commonly use on Mormons.

I found Hershel taking a nap in the tide-pools.  Before he could get some shut eye, I quickly polled him then took his photo without his consent, forever stealing his turtle soul.

10 Thoughts From Hershel:

The Bartender, The Waitress and The Dancer: Chapter II of II

Photo Credit: Dailyconcepts.com

“What the Fuck!!  Do you want us to die!?”  I yell and tug her arm away from the wheel.

In response of my defense, she slaps back and generously includes and elbow to my right ear.  My hearing goes numb on the right side.   Condensation accumulates on the windshield from the irate suicidal and her scowling mouth.  A stream of heat and maledictions whiz by my face as I roll down the window.  I continue to wonder why and how I got stuck in the honeycomb.  Trissy became too much beeotch to handle.

If I weren’t such a nice a guy, I would have dumped her on the curb like a Microsoft operating system.  There was an absence of goodbye kisses and pleasantries as we reached Trissys home.  I stared at her bubble behind as she walked away with flailing arms and thought, that’s the last time I tap that.

She owned a Playstation with a healthy library of games, which basically is code for keeper.

11 Ways to use Bitstrips

This gallery contains 11 photos.