Tag Archives: DPchallenge

Hastily Proceeding and The Idiots Stone

I exhaled holy shit as a cloud of drones erupt and swarms toward our direction.  The hive that dangled off a tree, now a remnant pile on the bottom of the gulch.  Randall ran yelling, I think I have one in my shirt. Fuck I do! Brah, i think it’s on your neck, I reply trying to keep up with Randalls pace. Shit they’re everywhere, Tony screams behind me. We hastily scramble up the embankment of the gulch and into a backyard.  I yell at my two friends scurrying behind a derelict house, Hurry up and find the hose!

I slap myself silly attempting to shoo bees away from my face and spontaneously breaking into  interpretative dance. Randall now shirtless, frantically tries to find the end of a coiled up garden hose with his mouth closed and lips tucked in, hoping to avoid a former traumatic fat lip incident. Tony, busy defending the onslaught with one hand while the other hand turns the spigot.  Picture Three Stooges doing an Abbott and Costello routine while Benny Hills intro plays in the background. With a bit of stinging profanities whizzing by, Tony gets the water running. Randall gasps for a breath of air as jets of water spray around us.  I stop wishing for time to rewind five minutes and check my baseball cap that had slipped my mind during the chaos. Wow, a bee without its stinger. My forehead begins to hurt but is quickly subdued by the infectious laughter of three idiots.

I was the expert of adding salt to a wound but if shit ever hit the fan, I would somehow end up as the fan.

Continue reading Hastily Proceeding and The Idiots Stone

The Twerk Heard Around The World

Photo Credit:  Nielson Bernard/Getty Images

Dear viewers of the Internets,

I am concerned about reactions regarding a musical performance at the 2013 VMA.  I think Robin Thicke and MIley Cyrus’ duet was kick ass.  The crowd seemed to enjoy it as well.  Why the internets reactions state of shock and poor criticism is beyond me.

I guess my question is, what are you truly shocked about?  Is it the over the top twerking or less than modest outfit?  Is it the lyrics suggestive use of extra curricular medication or the twenty two Gene Simmons impersonations?  Are you really that dumbfounded by Miss Montanas performance that you’re left agape?

All of us get lost in the darkness, dreamers learn to steer by the stars.  -Rush, The Pass

You must be extremely disconnected with pop culture or you have the ignorance of a six year old.  Where were you when Janet Jackson flashed her Super Bowl boob?  Did you happen to see pictures of the pantiless Britney?  Were you aware she shaved her head bald?  Chers flat ass made its debut in the If I Could Turn Back Time music video.  Also, there are two artist you might have heard about, Lady Gaga and Madonna.  Are you truly that sensitive? Continue reading The Twerk Heard Around The World

Yoga Fire

I’ve decide to take on the Fit To Write, Weekly Writing Challenge.  Why?  Because my story will beat up your story.  Shall we?

The story takes place in 2007, when MySpace was hanging on to its last member and most of the world still had jobs.  My girlfriend at the time, attended a Yoga class at the Y which allowed her to bring one guest.  The cheerful invites to accompany her weekly routine was met with my common utters of “Next time babe” or “Do I have to?”  With each animated request, I could always see the growing pleeeease emanating from behind her sparkling eyes.  I am a sucker.    Continue reading Yoga Fire