Tag Archives: friends

Leaving Reality and Three Stories You Should Listen To

Like a bandit in the old west, my earbuds are my trusty six shooter and it’s holster, my mp3 player.  When it’s fully loaded with an ammunition of songs, I am ready to take on any varmint at High Noon.  Although I am unwilling to share my cover of Wanted Dead or Alive, I will be candid with my taste in music.  You will find that I commonly park my hoss at the Hard Rock saloon, in between Pop Rock Barber Shop and the Bank of Alternative.   My usual orders are awesome riffs and solos like More Than A Feeling by Boston or hypnotic vocals from any song sung by Freddie Mercury.  If the bartend ain’t serving any joy juice, my earbuds double as buffer, eliminating pesky advances from bar prostitutes.  Sometimes you just need a time-out from reality.

The following are three personal short stories representing an attachment with music, using songs as a supplement and a guide.  Playing them is not necessary, but it adds another dimension to the story.  In any case, they’re kick ass songs.    Continue reading Leaving Reality and Three Stories You Should Listen To

11 Ways to use Bitstrips

An accidental discovery wound up consuming an entire day.  Well, not the entire day because I advanced a few levels in Candy Crush, but most of it anyways.  First of all, I can’t draw for shit.  Shapes, no problem.  Unless it’s a decagon, because it has just as much sides as my ex-girlfriend.  Second, I think thought bubbles are genius.  It’s like saying something, but not really.

I’d like to reiterate how much I love-hate Facebook.  If you’re a newcomer to my blog, this will bring you up to speed.  The best compliment I can give Facebook is that it’s the best emotional refuse to date.  That I hate.  What I love is when you’re having a bad day, week, year, life, you can count on your News Feed to deliver one poor sap that’s having a (supposedly) worse time than you are, then capitalize with satirical mockery.  Enter Bitstrips.      Continue reading 11 Ways to use Bitstrips

Attention Deficit, What Was I Saying Again?

I met up with a couple of friends for Fourth of July.  We were knocking back drinks at a local bar and catching up on each others lives.  The food was great and the service was awesome.  The sky was pale orange with a hint of lavender clouds that signaled dusks arrival.  A great end of another Hawaiian day.  Enter SMS.

With the growing anticipation of the upcoming firework show we hurriedly moved from one conversation to the next.  Tried to at least.  One of my friends, lets call her TW.  TW for text whore.  TW made it extremely difficult for the party to get through conversations.  At times, her phone became more important than spoken discussion.  TW claimed that she was multitasking, responding to messages and partaking in the trios confab.

FYI, unless you’re juggling five rabid squirrels and whistling the Juicy Fruit jingle while riding a rusty unicycle, you’re not multitasking.   You’re just switching from one task to another.  Which is what I informed TW.  TW snapped back profanities and evil looks.  Something common in my daily routine.  Life is difficult when you’re right.

Definition of Irony:  The tool created to bring us closer has become the device that brings us closer to detachment.

How to Maintain and Find New Friends on Facebook

In the world of Social Media, there’s nothing more important than how you present yourself to your online networks.  Here are some of my tips to keep and grow a healthy network on Facebook.

1.  Consistently Post Selfies

Show how much you love your Friends by having 98% of your photos be of yourself taken by yourself.   Whether it be fed from your Instagram account or a Tweet, your Facebook Friends will happily reward your narcissistic behaviour.  The other 2% can be of food.

2.  Be Super at being Superficial

The next time you see someones selfie,  leave them with a comment.  One word will suffice.  “Cute”, “Sexy” or “Hot” will do.  When you pretend care about your network, your network will pretend care about you.  Not only do you cultivate your Friends with pretend care, deep down you know your shit is better than theirs.   Continue reading How to Maintain and Find New Friends on Facebook