Tag Archives: Hawaii

The Not Vanilla Shake

Cravings come in all shapes and colors.  For some, it’s as simple as something edible.  For others, it could be mind altering, detrimental even, such as caffeine, nicotine, crack cocaine or Justin Bieber.

The former was mine and it was screaming vanilla shake.  Not just any vanilla shake.  A Jack in the Box vanilla shake.  The true test of a shake is how much shake you can get in your mouth on the first sip of the straw.  If you can get a cheek full of liquid, then it’s simply a cold drink. With a Jack in the Box shake, the first sip you’ll get, for all intents and purposes, is  jack.    Continue reading The Not Vanilla Shake

Excuse Me Sir, Do You Mind Putting Out Your Stupidity

Sorry, but stupidity can’t be snuffed out as easily as a cigarette.  Although I wish it could.  There are two points (possibly more, but who has the time?) about the county of Big Islands bill, to raise the purchase of tobacco products from 18 to 21.  If you can’t tell from the header, I’m an opponent to the bill and philosophy.     Continue reading Excuse Me Sir, Do You Mind Putting Out Your Stupidity

How to Tour Hawaii Like A Boss

Planning your next trip to Hawaii?  Here’s the skinny to get the most out of your visit to the middle of the pacific and ensure you vacation like a boss.  Warning, spoiler alert.
  1. Stay in a Bed and Breakfast:  Big name hotels are overrated and taxed to death, passing on the overhead to you the consumer.  Free yourself from the claustrophobic chambers of a three star and boss vacay in style.  Most B&Bs are locally owned and comparingly priced with hotels,  keeping your hard earned cash in the hands of Hawaii residents and not diluted through a national chain.  B&Bs are run by small business owners and pride themselves on customer satisfaction as opposed to big hotels that formulate profits and deal with occupancy numbers.   Hotel formula: happiness = don’t give a fuck    Continue reading How to Tour Hawaii Like A Boss

Riding With Peppers, The Video

Water.  A crucial substance, necessary for the sustenance of life.  We inhabit the water world and today, I pay homage to those before me, who used water not only to ensure survival but also as a form of enjoyment, creating worlds within worlds.  More specifically, from the ancient Polynesian culture and what the Hawaiian’s refer to as he’e nalu.  Although I am much appreciative of their gift of the sport, I would also like to apologize to any fish I may had run over.    Continue reading Riding With Peppers, The Video

Hershel Strikes Back: Ten More Thoughts From A Dehydrating Turtle

It is a dark time for the rebellion.  Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel…whoops, sorry wrong sequel.

Hershel and I meet up again to discuss current events, video games and his views on domestic violence.

Ten more thoughts for Hershel:

  1. I just came back from a vacation in the Galapagos.  There’s people like me but on land.  Walking turtles.  Fucking crazy.  I bet somewhere there are hairless apes that walk upright.    Continue reading Hershel Strikes Back: Ten More Thoughts From A Dehydrating Turtle

Leaving Reality and Three Stories You Should Listen To

Like a bandit in the old west, my earbuds are my trusty six shooter and it’s holster, my mp3 player.  When it’s fully loaded with an ammunition of songs, I am ready to take on any varmint at High Noon.  Although I am unwilling to share my cover of Wanted Dead or Alive, I will be candid with my taste in music.  You will find that I commonly park my hoss at the Hard Rock saloon, in between Pop Rock Barber Shop and the Bank of Alternative.   My usual orders are awesome riffs and solos like More Than A Feeling by Boston or hypnotic vocals from any song sung by Freddie Mercury.  If the bartend ain’t serving any joy juice, my earbuds double as buffer, eliminating pesky advances from bar prostitutes.  Sometimes you just need a time-out from reality.

The following are three personal short stories representing an attachment with music, using songs as a supplement and a guide.  Playing them is not necessary, but it adds another dimension to the story.  In any case, they’re kick ass songs.    Continue reading Leaving Reality and Three Stories You Should Listen To