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Hershel Strikes Back: Ten More Thoughts From A Dehydrating Turtle

It is a dark time for the rebellion.  Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel…whoops, sorry wrong sequel.

Hershel and I meet up again to discuss current events, video games and his views on domestic violence.

Ten more thoughts for Hershel:

  1. I just came back from a vacation in the Galapagos.  There’s people like me but on land.  Walking turtles.  Fucking crazy.  I bet somewhere there are hairless apes that walk upright.    Continue reading Hershel Strikes Back: Ten More Thoughts From A Dehydrating Turtle
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10 Thoughts From A Dehydrating Turtle

Sometimes, I visit basking turtles and start up a conversation.  Unlike the babes on the beach, they can’t just up and walk away.  Plus, most Betties start to (pretend) text when the lost of interest sets in.  A tactic I commonly use on Mormons.

I found Hershel taking a nap in the tide-pools.  Before he could get some shut eye, I quickly polled him then took his photo without his consent, forever stealing his turtle soul.

10 Thoughts From Hershel: Continue reading 10 Thoughts From A Dehydrating Turtle