Peeved

water_nuclear

It really isn’t a great idea to start the day, bitching and whining about irritants. But like doing PC housekeeping, stripping off old wax, or taking out the trash, it needs to be done. Everyone has pet peeves. These are some of mine…
BIPOLAR STALKERS: Stalkers are so much fun to have. They adorn me with tons of attention. They’re harmless and mostly lurk in the shadowy parts of Facebook. But when interaction switches gears from Hi, Hello, Love you, I want your baby, To Why the fuck are you not calling back, where the fuck are you, Wah Wah Wah!! Then they become a little too much Courtney Love for me to handle.
STUPID PEOPLE: Maybe this should have been first. I know a lot of you probably have this on the top of their pet peeve list. Last night, I encountered someone who spelled friend, f r e i n d. Twice. Always, a l l w a y s. Dude, one L is enough okay. Fuel, fule and using “know” in ways the word “no”, is correct English grammar. Sorry, you don’t get points for pronunciation. And “a lot” is two words. It drives me nuts to see a bunch of thirty somethings who continuously use “alot”. Alot of bacon. Alot of waves. Alot of red lines under the the fricken ALOT word!!
GOING 35MPH IN THE LEFT LANE: Do I need to say more?
DROWNING TOURISTS: Yeah sad, but these malahini make our County Lifeguards work. If I was Lifeguard, I would be kicking back and spocking the betties all freeking day. But when monkeys who don’t understand the “rip tide”, swim against the current and get all fuck up. Then the Hollywood slow motion run, from the tower to water, kicks in. You gotta stick out the pectorals, cleave if wahine lifeguard and do the dramatic dive in the ocean, slowly so the camera doesn’t miss a bounce. By then, the buggah drownded. At least i would get a tan, from the thirty minute run from tower to water.
If I ever see someone waving hands and arms frantically in the ocean, I’m gonna wave back.

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3 thoughts on “Peeved”

  1. Dear Surfer Dude

    Hi.

    I think you’re hot.

    I don’t want your babies because I don’t want kids.

    I wanna be you’re freinds with bennefitts.

    Why don’t you reply?

    What is a hen?

    Writer Chick

    Like

      1. Dear Surfer Dude

        I think you’re the best looking shark in the surf.

        Love me some fine dorsal.

        Make my heart go dokidoki.

        Can’t we just FB?

        Writer Chick.

        p.s. Posted said love child, Epidural not needed.

        Like

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