Check Please

I’ll write my first post of this year, reminding myself of the trials and tribulations of dating.  Yippie…

Rollback the year to 2008. America is on the cusp of electing our first black President, Katy Perry is kissing a girl, Heath Ledger does a remarkable Joker impersonation and Kipp goes on a date with a girl ten years younger.

Ironically I met this girl on Facebook, where I typically fend off would be followers.  Daycee, a 20 year old single mother with a pretty profile picture, is the harbinger of intolerance.  More about that later.  She suggests a time and place to meet and I easily comply, being the intelligent gentlemen I is.   

Excuse Me Sir, Do You Mind Putting Out Your Stupidity

Sorry, but stupidity can’t be snuffed out as easily as a cigarette.  Although I wish it could.  There are two points (possibly more, but who has the time?) about the county of Big Islands bill, to raise the purchase of tobacco products from 18 to 21.  If you can’t tell from the header, I’m an opponent to the bill and philosophy.    

How to Tour Hawaii Like A Boss

Planning your next trip to Hawaii?  Here’s the skinny to get the most out of your visit to the middle of the pacific and ensure you vacation like a boss.  Warning, spoiler alert.

1. Stay in a Bed and Breakfast:  Big name hotels are overrated and taxed to death, passing on the overhead to you the consumer.  Free yourself from the claustrophobic chambers of a three star and boss vacay in style.  Most B&Bs are locally owned and comparingly priced with hotels,  keeping your hard earned cash in the hands of Hawaii residents and not diluted through a national chain.  B&Bs are run by small business owners and pride themselves on customer satisfaction as opposed to big hotels that formulate profits and deal with occupancy numbers.   Hotel formula: happiness = don’t give a fuck   

Riding With Peppers, The Video

Water.  A crucial substance, necessary for the sustenance of life.  We inhabit the water world and today, I pay homage to those before me, who used water not only to ensure survival but also as a form of enjoyment, creating worlds within worlds.  More specifically, from the ancient Polynesian culture and what the Hawaiian’s refer to as he’e nalu.  Although I am much appreciative of their gift of the sport, I would also like to apologize to any fish I may had run over.   

Hershel Strikes Back: Ten More Thoughts From A Dehydrating Turtle

It is a dark time for the rebellion.  Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel…whoops, sorry wrong sequel.

Hershel and I meet up again to discuss current events, video games and his views on domestic violence.

Ten more thoughts for Hershel:

1. I just came back from a vacation in the Galapagos.  There’s people like me but on land.  Walking turtles.  Fucking crazy.  I bet somewhere there are hairless apes that walk upright.   

Leaving Reality and Three Stories You Should Listen To

Like a bandit in the old west, my earbuds are my trusty six shooter and it’s holster, my mp3 player.  When it’s fully loaded with an ammunition of songs, I am ready to take on any varmint at High Noon.  Although I am unwilling to share my cover of Wanted Dead or Alive, I will be candid with my taste in music.  You will find that I commonly park my hoss at the Hard Rock saloon, in between Pop Rock Barber Shop and the Bank of Alternative.   My usual orders are awesome riffs and solos like More Than A Feeling by Boston or hypnotic vocals from any song sung by Freddie Mercury.  If the bartend ain’t serving any joy juice, my earbuds double as buffer, eliminating pesky advances from bar prostitutes.  Sometimes you just need a time-out from reality.

The following are three personal short stories representing an attachment with music, using songs as a supplement and a guide.  Playing them is not necessary, but it adds another dimension to the story.  In any case, they’re kick ass songs.   

11 Ways to use Bitstrips

This gallery contains 11 photos.